do not read this

for the first time since god knows when, i woke up today fresh and happy. this is, you must comprehend, is a moment in a million. for all my teenage life, i've been waking up with a heavy heart, grumpy, tired and still wanting to go back to sleep but unable to. i basically hate waking up. but this morning was magical.

it might be my dream ( i can't really remember. i've had dreams of similar context. like i belonged to some secret society and where up to something fishy), it might be mr magorium's wonderful emporium (i like it so much. made me so happy). it might be because i'm going to buy na my drums. i might be because i just learnt how to solve a rubik's cube. it might be because i learnt new djembe techniques. it might be because i learnt not to follow other's advices and learnt the importance of letting go of yourself and trusting friends (which i haven't tried yet. wait lag kasi).

but for the first time since november 1, i am happy. it's been hell for the past month but right now. i feel so light. enlightenment ang puta. it was the moment i woke up. praning. why cant i be a buddhist. stupid that i dunno why I'm happy. so dumb. i dun really care na that if my source of happiness is chimerical kasi desperado. baliw. i might be going crazy. well i consider myself mad anyways.